Just Be Held

Last week I wrote about finding true rest and it’s something that has been on my mind a lot lately. The whisper of the Holy Spirit breathing through my days. Calling for me to make some changes. To slow down. To rest and re-evaluate some things. To let go. To be refilled and renewed in His Presence. To be still. It’s a whisper that calls to the deep places in my soul. An echo that melds with the un-uttered yearnings of my heart and reverberates in a collective, unbroken melody.

But sometimes “rest” is hard for me, even when it feels like an urgent need. Rest requires surrender. It means letting go. It means trust. And these things are not ones that come easy for me.

I grew up in a very controlled environment, where only the illusion of choice existed. Questions were discouraged and only absolute obedience to authority was acceptable. When deliverance came and I was finally free to make my own decisions, I unfortunately took my newfound freedom to the other extreme. To a place where I needed to always be in control. Where trust was hard won and surrender meant weakness or defeat. It was a place where walls were built and my heart was protected. But in the process of protecting myself, I ended up besieging myself – cutting off the supply lines of trust, love, community, and relationship.

It’s taken years to learn to dismantle the walls, to build bridges, to step out of the comfort of my own controlled environment into new things. Learning to trust God through all the good and the bad, to lean hard on Him, and to allow Him to guide my feet on the path He’s set for me. And even though I know I’ve made amazing progress, if I’m not careful, it’s easy to slide back to old habits without even realizing it, especially when things are hectic and I’m feeling overwhelmed or tired. And I find myself leaning heavily on my own understanding.

This morning, as I was cleaning my kitchen and listening to music, I was suddenly arrested by the words that were playing. And it felt as though God was speaking the words directly to me.

“Just be held. Let it all go. Stop holding on so tightly. Stop striving. Stop trying to control every detail. Stop leaning on your own understanding. Trust Me. To lead you. To provide for you. To protect you. To hold you. Child, just allow yourself to be held.”

~ God

As the words washed over me, I leaned over the sink and let the tears come. My hands raised and my heart responded “I surrender”. In that moment, peace came. A sweet peace and a soul deep rest that comes from obeying the voice of our loving Father.

Maybe these words speak to you today too. Maybe you’re exhausted and just need to lean back into the arms of God and let Him carry you for a while. Maybe you are carrying things that were never yours to carry and it’s time to set them down. Or maybe you aren’t sure you even know how to let go and be held. God knows where you are, He knows your struggles and your pain. And He’s standing with you just waiting for you to let Him carry you. Will you to take that step of faith and trust Him today? Go ahead. Lean back and let go. God’s got you.

Until next time…