Hey There, Woman of Valour – Pt.1

May is a month of reflection for me. With so many important dates and memories entwined in these 31 days, I often find myself reflecting on how these moments have shaped who I have become – as a woman, a wife, a mother. I’d like to say that this introspection is usually positive, but I have to admit that all too often, I end up focusing on my flaws and failures, my hurts and hang-ups, and I get stuck rehearsing all the ways that I am “not”.

Not measuring up. Not productive enough. Not growing enough. Not patient enough. Just…not enough. I know I’m not the only one struggling. We live in a culture obsessed with “perfection”, where comparison and condescension are spoken as our native tongue; where rather than celebrating other’s accomplishments, we compare them to our own to see how we measure up or to identify how we’ve done it better. It’s hard enough to feel like I’m failing in all of the “regular” things, but then when I add all the ways I know I’m failing in my faith walk, it’s exhausting! But, this year’s word for me is Freedom, and in pursuit of that I was determined to change my thinking. Determined to search out the Truth. And I was a little surprised by what I found.

For years, I struggled with reading about the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31:10-31 is a beautiful acrostic poem (in it’s original language each verse starts with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet), delineating the qualities of a “virtuous woman/wife”. Though scholars don’t all agree on the identity of the Proverbs 31 woman, within Christian circles, she has long been held as the standard for all God-fearing women to emulate. I’ve read this passage, the devotionals, heard speakers expound on her, and no matter how encouraging the message, still managed to walk away feeling like recounting the virtues of this “perfect” woman were simply a litany of charges, highlighting all the ways I failed daily. But God’s Word is given not to condemn, always to teach, to correct, to comfort, to guide (2 Tim 3:16), so obviously I was missing something.

I learned that in Hebrew, the phrase translated in most Bibles as “virtuous woman”, eshet chayil, is better translated as “woman of valour“

My shift in perspective came rather unexpectedly after reading A Year of Biblical Womanhood, by Rachel Held Evans, a book I had picked up because it sounded entertaining, not because I was searching for truth. While I didn’t always agree with her interpretation of Scripture or theological conclusions, I enjoyed the author’s perspective and found it thought provoking. In her book, and my subsequent research, I learned that in Hebrew, the phrase translated in most Bibles as “virtuous woman”, eshet chayil, is better translated as woman of valour, and that in the Jewish community, this passage is not seen as a goal for women to attain, but rather as a blessing. According to Jewish tradition, it is the men of the community that commit this passage to memory, not the women!

In Jewish circles, Proverbs 31 is known by the first two words of verse 10, Eshet Chayil, often translated as ‘A Woman of Valor.’ …Eshet Chayil, Proverbs 31:10-31, is frequently sung around the table in Jewish homes on Friday night as we welcome in the Shabbat. We don’t know when or where this custom originated, but it has become common to see it as a tribute to the woman of the house who has put great effort into making a beautiful Shabbat table and a delicious meal. 

Rabbi Daniel Lapin – https://rabbidaniellapin.com/a-proverbs-31-woman/

Wow. This is something that happens every week! And whether the woman of the home has had a productive week or barely managed to get her preparations done for Shabbat, she can look forward to having these affirming words spoken or sung over her. Eshet chayil. She doesn’t have to earn it. She doesn’t have to strive to live up to this title. She is called a woman of valour, because that is what she is!

When you think of valour, what do you picture? Knights decked in armour heading to the battlefield? Bravery? Courage? Honour? These are the things that come readily to mind for me. And I’m not sure about you, but foremost in my mind is that this term is usually applied to men. But eshet chayil is a woman of valour. So, what does a woman of valour look like?

According to Merriam Webster, valour is defined as: strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery. So, is she a warrior woman? A woman who protects and defends? A strong woman? A woman who perseveres? A resourceful and industrious woman? One who stands in the face of impossible odds and doesn’t back down? YES! She is all of these things, but Proverbs 31:30 also says that the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. So, she is also the woman on her knees interceding for her family. She is the one who rises day after day, holding fast to God’s promises when depression threatens to drag her under. She is the one who faithfully shows up and serves behind the scenes, without ever receiving acknowledgement. She’s the one who loves and forgives, even when it’s hard. The woman of valour comes in many forms, but her most vibrant quality is her bravery.

Personal bravery. I love that phrase. One of the first blog posts I ever wrote was on this phrase and focused on the following passage from Habakkuk, I think it highlights beautifully how a woman of valour lives a life of faith:

When God created woman, He created her from man’s side – to be his partner, his equal, his teammate – fully capable of working together to fulfill the purposes and plans that God called her to. But somewhere along the way, she fell a step behind, believing that she wasn’t strong enough, worthy enough, able enough to be all that God designed her to be. She traded humility for subservience, gentleness for weakness, confidence for arrogance, compassion for criticism, true beauty for an empty facade, and gratitude for dissatisfaction. She became a shadow of who she was meant to be. She forgot…we forgot… who we are.

God has built the ability to be an eshet chayil it into every woman’s DNA, but a woman who fears the Lord, doesn’t have to do it alone. Her strength comes not from herself, but from her God, and this is what undergirds everything else that flows from her life. The Lord is her personal bravery. That is what allows her to stand firm and unmovable in life’s storms. A woman who lives with that kind of faith, that is a woman of valour!

As I have begun to see what a woman of valour really is, it’s changing everything for me. Because I realize that I can stop trying to become and just be. And those wonderful qualities and achievements that I was chasing after? Those just become the fruit of the woman who fears the Lord. Eshet chayil is noun – a state of being, not of doing. She is a woman whose eyes are fixed on Jesus, her trust unshakable in Him. This is where she draws her strength from. She flourishes in who God created her to be, growing where she is planted, and the fruit of her relationship with Christ is made evident in her life because of it.

She is not called a woman of valour because she does all the things listed in Proverbs 31 – she does these things because she is a woman of valour!

It’s time we, the women of God, started living up to our full potential. It’s time to call forth the women of valour! So, how do we go about doing that and why is it important? I hope you will join me here next time to dive into the answer. But for now, Sisters, I hope you take a moment to lean into the Truth of who God created you to be. A Woman of Valour.