Dashed Hope

Here we are once again. Standing on the precipice of what will be a life changing moment. Hope unfurled like the giant sails of a ship, carrying us onward toward the prize of the distant port. Praying for our Father’s perfect will to be done and knowing that all parties involved will be deeply affected. In just a few weeks, a few words from a judge will decide what happens next and the direction our foster babe’s life will take.

A couple of weeks ago, my family was rear-ended in a car accident. Thankfully, the accident was quite minor and everyone was ok, but the impact was still felt and there are still repercussions and it reminded me that life can change in an instant. Everything you thought and planned and hoped for and dreamed of can be completely altered in a mere matter of seconds. Because life isn’t a carefully scripted screenplay and the unexpected, unplanned moments that we experience have the ability to take our beautifully crafted hopes and dreams and dash them against the rocks.

But, what if the dashing of hope doesn’t have to mean it is destroyed? What if our perspective were to change? In grammar a dash – is a punctuation mark used to “indicate a break in the thought or structure of a sentence”. Essentially, it interrupts the flow of the sentence on the way to its conclusion. A dash indicates that there is more ahead. It lets you know to keep reading because there is something important coming up. What if:

Dashed Hope = Hope Interrupted

Tenacious Hope. Hope that keeps going even though it’s been interrupted by circumstances. Hope that continues to expect even though there is no reason to. Dashed–hope, not destroyed hope. This is hope that keeps getting up off the ground. Because no matter how many times it gets knocked down, the confidence remains that this is not the end. That the end is something that the One on Whom your hope is fixed has planned for your good. The destination might be a different one than we first set out towards, the reward not what we anticipated. But, what if the end turned out to be so much more than we imagined? Better than we could have dreamed? Because sometimes, in order for the resurrection of hope, your course may have to be altered, your destination coordinates revised, your dreams transformed.

3 years ago, my hopes were dashed and I watched my dreams of having another child shatter as twice within 6 months I sat in my Dr’s office and was told that my baby’s heartbeat couldn’t be found. That was a devastating time and I couldn’t even see past the darkness of the moment to dream again. And yet, it was that dashing that irrevocably and completely changed my life and my hopes for the future. Because God didn’t leave me there groping in the dark with broken dreams and tattered heart. Instead, He took my hopes that lay glittering among the rocks like shards of glass and put them back together in a new way. He planted a beautiful vision for foster care and adoption in my heart. A new dream. A new direction. And Hope was reborn. Not lost. Not destroyed. Just – interrupted.

1 year ago, my hopes were dashed again when – following the path that God had put us on – the court decided that the baby boy we had brought home from the hospital and loved as our own, was not to remain with us. This was not what we had anticipated. We were rocked. We were shaken. But, our hope wasn’t rooted in the dream of being his forever family. It was rooted in the One Who called us out on the water. And so, we invested in this fledgling family. And hope arose in our hearts again. With the surety that we were right where we were supposed to be, we waited for the next phone call, the next placement. Knowing that God is Faithful. Knowing that He sees what we cannot. Knowing that His timing is perfect. And as we waited, we saw a miracle taking place – beauty began to unfold as our Little Gift’s mama found a place to be planted and with love and tender care, together they began to bloom.

Scripture is filled with the stories of hope interrupted – stories of the hard things that God turned around. Of people who held stubbornly to the promises they had been given. People who doubted and struggled with the call on their lives as they watched hopes they thought would be fulfilled, dashed again and again.

Anything worth hoping for is worth fighting for. It will likely cost you something to hang on to it. You can’t sing, the words: “Spirit, Lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me”, and not experience some dashed hopes. You can’t ask God to call you and use you, without experiencing setbacks and opposition. Hope that is sure has been tried in the fire. It’s been pummeled and smashed, bruised and dashed, but it still comes up swinging. It may lay wounded on the pavement for a while. It may ask the questions and wrestle with the whys, but hope interrupted is not hope destroyed. The outcome depends not on the circumstances, but on where our hope ultimately lies. If it is only rooted in dreams, then the chances are that dashed hope might just die. But if our hope is rooted in an unshakable God, then our hope is sure.

In Psalm 42, David pours out his pain in the midst of oppression. And yet, he writes:

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.”

That next call did come and almost 8 months ago, we had another precious baby boy placed in our care. And despite not knowing what his future holds, we have poured into him and loved him and prayed for him and his family and the road ahead for each of them. The last few months with out little guy have flown by and now here we are again – awaiting a court’s decision. And I remind myself of all these things as I wait to see where our steps will be ordered next. I wait, resting in the peace that makes no rational sense at all and knowing where my hope is found. I wait – determined that no matter what happens – I will keep reading. Because there is always something that comes after the dash. And what comes after may bring the greatest blessings I could ever imagine.