Yep. It has been a few months since I posted last, so this is long overdue. But I promise, I had a good reason. With summer stuff, school starting again, and renovations everywhere, and most recently COVID, it has been a revolving door of chaos over here and I’ve found it exhausting! Add in a host of “bugs” and allergies and you have a perfect recipe for fatigue and struggling mental health. I don’t think we have ever been so sick during the summer months, but this year from end of May to middle of October it seemed like it was one thing after another. But we didn’t allow illness to completely ruin our summer and making memories with our kids.
This year we ended up going west again for our family vacation – this time without a camper rental, so it was hotels and Airbnbs instead. Despite being sick our entire vacation (thankfully not covid!), we got to see some new sights and experience some new things as a family. It was my grandfather’s 90th birthday party/family reunion, so we spent 2 days in Alberta catching up with family and then we headed further west. We thought about going back to Banff, but since we visited there last year, we decided to explore somewhere else this time and settled on Radium, BC. We wanted something less “touristy” (is that a word?) with lots of nature and new things to do. And of course, “mountains, Gandalf”. The plan was to do some great hiking and exploring outdoors, try something new, and try to do it on a tight budget. Some things worked that way, others not so much, but we had a great time.
The heat was intense (between 34°C and 38°C every day, with little cloud cover and no air conditioning anywhere we stayed in BC), so that put a damper on a few things we wanted to do, but one of the highlights was being able to share my love of horseback riding with my oldest boys with a forest trail ride! I haven’t been riding in years, so it was really special to be able to share this moment with them. They loved it! Even the two little ones got to go on a pony ride in the corral and (at least one of them) had a great time.
On our way home we had planned to drive through Kimberley, BC, a place I remember visiting when I was a teenager, and maybe spend a few hours there, but we decided to make a whole day of it and booked an Airbnb for one night. So glad we did as we had a lot of fun there.
But now, all the summer vacation fun is over and it’s time to get back to the school year routine. Or at least we have tried as much as possible while undergoing renovations in our house. I have to say that being able to homeschool during renos has allowed for some really great hands-on learning experiences for the boys, for which I am so grateful! I enjoy watching them try new things and develop their interests while being challenged in different ways.
Speaking of renovations, I recently posted a picture to Facebook of my second oldest son, highlighting his hard work with the work being done on our bathroom. He was standing in front of our “Command Center” wall when I took the picture and after I posted it, I was surprised when a bunch of friends were asking about some of the routines and schedules I had posted on the wall.
Over the last couple of months, I have been struggling with trying to find a topic to write about. My last post was rather personal and a huge revelation to me, but since that nothing “profound” or meaningful was coming to mind and with being so exhausted, I was stumped, until after the interest generated by a simple FB post. And the more I thought about it, I realized that sometimes the most “profound” things might actually be found in the every day. Because what one person finds routine or even mundane might be a game changer for someone else. At least, I have found that to be true and I can say that many of the systems and practices we have in place in our house have been shaped by gleaning wisdom from others. And that is why building community is so beneficial and important. So, at the risk of turning this into a very practical post, I am going to share some of the things that we do to help our home run more smoothly.
I will issue this disclaimer – Our intentions with all of these things don’t always guarantee success and like anyone else, these are goals that we work towards even in the face of colossal failures. But I have discovered that I don’t do well in chaos and structure brings “calm” and helps me to be a better “me” – in all aspects. So, here are a few things that I have found are helpful for us.
In our house, the wall just outside the kitchen is our “Command Center”. This is where we have our calendar – schedule and monthly meal plan, the menu for the week, the FAQ board, and the weekly responsibilities for each child.
One of the things that I received a lot of questions about was our FAQ board. Something that we are trying really hard to teach our kids is to think and make good choices for themselves and to remember things that they have been told previously. So, the FAQ board was born. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but if I had to pick the questions that I am asked the most on any given day, these are at the top! The board is there to help guide and remind.
A question that friends have been asking is “What is a ‘screen time bank’?” Our oldest children have a weekly “screen time bank” with a set number of hours in it that they can use to access screens for entertainment purposes. This might be used for video games, watching a show or movie, etc, and does not include screen time for schoolwork or for family activities. As the time in the bank is a set amount, they are responsible for budgeting their time because once it is gone, it’s gone. The bank is only accessible during certain hours of the day and only after their personal and household responsibilities are completed (a history of this throughout the week must be demonstrated as well, not just on the day of). The “bank” may be closed for a 24 to 48 hour period if the time “withdrawals” exceed the bank “balance”, or if the bank has been accessed without fulfilling their agreed upon responsibilities. The purpose of the screen time bank is to try to teach our kids about personal responsibility and living “within their means” in a practical way, while at the same time helping them to develop a healthy and balanced relationship with screen time.
A second question I got was in regards to our daily routine which lists twice a day where we have a family “all-in”. “What is an ‘all-in’?” This one is something I borrowed from Justin Coulson at Happy Families and while we are still working to put it into practice, I love it! “All-in” is when we all work together as a family to complete a necessary task or to work on something for a set period of time. Sometimes that means that we all work together for – let’s say 15 minutes – so everyone looks around and identifies things that need to be done and then we all pitch in and work at completing them. Other times, we all have specific tasks to do and we all go our separate ways and do them. But the big thing is that we are doing it together – we’re “all in”, so no one is working alone and the children benefit from learning by example and teamwork. The hope is that they will learn to take ownership of the household responsibilities and see them as ways that they can give back and contribute to the well-being of everyone in our family (which is why we try very hard to refer to them as household responsibilities or contributions and not “chores”), but we’re still working on that. 🙂
Another thing we have on our wall is the list of each child’s responsibilities for the month. I try to give each child a job that they enjoy (or at least don’t hate to do, haha) and then divide up the rest of the less “desirable” jobs between them. If things are working well, we can leave things as is for another month, or we can change things up if someone feels like they’d like to try doing something different the next month.
Alongside the FAQ Board is our schedule of upcoming events and the meal plan for the month posted (I usually do a 6 week meal rotation which is a HUGE help with taking the guess work out of planning for supper every night). On the chalkboard next to it I write out the week’s meal plan. I’ve had people tell me that they could never plan meals that far in advance and that it would be too restrictive, but I have found it to be a time, money, and sanity saver for me! In the beginning, I didn’t think it would make much of a difference, but when I started planning a week at a time, I found it so helpful. Then when we were trying to save up to take our Hawaii trip in 2018, I started planning for the month and found that we ended up saving $200-300 dollars a month in groceries! Just by being better prepared before entering the grocery store! The thing to remember is that it is a plan not something set in stone. If there are items that are on sale or that we stock up on or something in our schedule takes a different direction, we can adjust on the fly. It just means that the bulk of the thought work for meal prep every night has been taken out. And I don’t know about you, but not having to figure out what to make for dinner after a long day saves both my energy and my sanity!
The same could be said for the school week routine which we have posted. While we try to follow it just to lend some structure to our day, it is not so rigid that we can’t diverge from what is written. With children that have a great deal of freedom in their day, having a framework of what to expect helps to keep us all on track!
There you have it. A look into the practical side of how we run our household. The thing that I am trying to remember every day is to have goals, have a plan, but also be flexible enough to make the changes as needed so that we roll with life as it comes. Which, now seeing my “Command Center”, you know is sometimes not very easy for me. So, I am reminded daily of Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It’s great to have a plan, but I need to live each day surrendered to the Holy Spirit and listen to His leading. Because His thoughts are so much higher and better than mine. And that makes each new day an adventure!
What are some things that you do to make your life or household more ordered? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments!
So, until next time friends, I hope your adventures are amazing – even in the midst of the ordinary and mundane. May God guide your plans and your footsteps to see Him in greater ways than you have before and may He help bring order to whatever your chaos happens to be.
Of Shattered Things 