Welcome back! Today, I am posting Part 2 of Parenting On Our Knees – where I want to share some of the things that we pray for our children. And I have to say, writing these 2 posts has been both humbling and challenging for me. As each word that has gone onto the page they have also resounded in my heart with Truth and Conviction that prayer can not be something I merely talk about; It must be something that I live out. I picked the quote above because that is ultimately my prayer as I pray for my children. We want to pray in a way that makes a difference and impacts their lives and we want God, as our Faithful Shepherd and Father, to lead us as we do so.
In Part 1, which you can read here, I wrote about some of the prayers we pray for ourselves as parents – one of those being praying for insights into each of our children as individuals. When I was growing up, there was this all prevailing attitude within my Christian community that discipline should be the same for all children – strict rules, “because I said so”, and spanking were thought to be the way to properly raise your child to follow the “straight and narrow”. And as said earlier, the way we were parented affects how we will parent, so I went into early motherhood thinking this was the way it was done. But once I held my baby in my arms for the first time and as my son began to grow, I started to question this approach. Those first questions have sent me on a journey, back to Scripture, seeking wise counsel, and most definitely to asking God for His guidance. I’ve begun to see that we can’t approach parenting like products on an assembly line because each and every one is unique.
Prov. 22:6 says that we are to train up our children in the way they should go, and that when they are old, they won’t depart from it. This is probably one of the most quoted Scriptures in regards to parenting and yet I think we have missed the fullness of what it means. Training up our children to follow in Jesus’ footsteps and do what is right is definitely something we need to do, but what if this also means that we are to train our children in the way that connects specifically with who they are as individuals? What if it is saying that we need to train them, not with one-size-fits-all discipline and instruction, but in ways that are tailored to best lead and guide our children hearts – in ways that will cause them to retain what they are being taught and allow them to flourish on their journey? I love how the Amplified Bible translates this verse:
God’s principles don’t change, but raising our children must still be done with intention and God’s direction, specific to our individual families. With this in mind, let’s dive into some of the things we pray for our children.
Prayers for our Children:
Prayer for their faith. It is good for us to teach them about God and His Word and model what it means to have a relationship with Him, but our children cannot live out their faith based on our own. So, first and foremost, we pray that God would reveal Himself to them from a young age and that they would make their faith their own. Laying the foundation early for our children to connect with Jesus and begin their own relationship with Him is something that I am very passionate about. We pray that they would learn to hear God’s voice for themselves, develop a hunger for His Word, and talk to Him daily. That they would heed the prompting of His Spirit and His direction in their lives. We pray that their foundation would be laid in Christ and that they would grow up discovering Who God is, what He says about who they are, and how precious they are to Him. One of the things that we have done in our home is to pray a blessing from Scripture over our children every night, so that those powerful words of love and encouragement are some of the last things they hear before they go off to sleep.
Prayer for protection. As I mentioned before in Part 1, our children are like sponges in this stage of life and they are being constantly bombarded by information from all around them. In our current culture that can be so negative and opposed to the faith and moral values that we are trying to instill in our children. We pray that God would not only keep them physically safe, but that He would guard their hearts, minds, eyes and ears from absorbing things that are harmful and would influence them negatively. We also pray that God would protect our children from the lies and attack of the the enemy, praying that they would learn to put the armour of God on for themselves every day (Eph 6:10-18).
Prayer for their development as a whole person. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – they are growing so much and reaching so many milestones in this stage of life, so we pray that God will help them to grow and develop well. Sometimes that might mean taking specific needs, health issues, and anxieties that they have to God over and over and trusting Him with those cares regularly.
Prayer for their relationships. When we were attending the parents Prayer and Worship night at our church, one of the other couples sharing spoke about how they pray for their children’s relationships, both within their family and outside their home. My children are still young (and we homeschool), so a lot of their relationships are still primarily within our home and family/close circles and to be honest, I hadn’t thought a whole lot about it (or prayed about). But as I reflected on all the issues that arise between us – parents and children and between siblings – why wouldn’t I pray about it? How much more effective could this approach be to the interpersonal frustrations that we have? Isn’t it interesting that the things that concern and frustrate us the most are often the last we take to prayer? So, I have committed to praying now for our relationships with our kids, for their relationships with each other – both now and as they grow into adulthood – that our bonds would grow strong, our affection run deep, and our enjoyment of being with each other be something that only gets better as time goes on. As my children grow, I am also committing to pray for their relationships outside of our home: for their future spouses, for friendships, for workplace relationships, for mentors, and for the communities that they will surround themselves and be surrounded with. Praying diligently that God would guide their associations and bring people into their lives that will build them up and encourage them to live a life in pursuit of Him.
Prayer for their choices. Just as we pray for wisdom and guidance for ourselves as parents, we also pray that God leads and guides our kids in the ways of wisdom. They are faced with so many choices as they go through life and we want to see our children choose well and succeed in life and in their calling. Moses, before, speaking to the children of Israel as they prepared to enter the Promised Land, and Joshua, after they had conquered it both reminded the people that they had a choice before them. They could follow their own desires or the ways of the nations that had occupied the land of Canaan before them and reap the consequences of living in sin and pursuit of pleasure, or they could choose to follow God’s ways and live in His blessing. In a similar way we remind our children that God’s ways are true and right and they bring His blessing into their lives. Then we pray that God gives them wisdom to make the choices that bring life and that He would impress upon them the generational impact that they hold in the choices they make.
Having children has made prayer a much bigger priority than it ever was, probably because I am learning that prayer works. Even if my circumstances don’t always change the way I would like, I am most definitely changed when I take my concerns to God! Prayer is a critical component of being a parent and leading our children. In fact we are learning it’s value more every day, especially as we are breaking generational dysfunction mold from our own childhoods. We are choosing Life for our family and future generations!
Going back to the analogy from my last post that our children are like arrows, we want to aim our children in the direction they should go, so that their trajectory is determined by solid teaching, loving discipline, and the Holy Spirit at work within them. So, they are not “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming” (Eph 4:14). Once they are released, our relationship enters an entirely different realm, so I want to make the most of the years that I have while my children are young. It is for this reason that we are committed to parenting from our knees. Because we don’t have all the answers. And only God can see the future and give us the wisdom to plant and water and nurture the right seeds in little hearts that will grow into a beautiful harvest in their future. And so we pray. Without ceasing. Because we only get to release them once.
Of Shattered Things 