I always wanted to be a missionary. Yes, I know that the mention of the word “missionary” can often invoke a very negative response, but despite the fact that there are some who have done the vocation grave injustice, I always saw it as an opportunity to make a positive impact in our world. To go somewhere far away from my home and make a difference where it was really needed. Coming from a family involved in missions for generations, it was something that I was exposed to at a young age, and a legacy that I hoped to continue. I used to love listening to and reading stories of missionaries who served all over the world, but Africa is the place that always held my heart and as a young girl, I used to dream of going there some day. The beauty of the land and it’s peoples, the richness of culture and language, the wildlife, and the vast number of orphans and great needs all drew me like a magnet. I wasn’t sure what I would do when I got there, but I knew two things: I wanted to serve to meet a need and I wanted to hold babies. And that last one was most definitely non-negotiable.
Fast forward 30 years and my feet are still firmly planted on Canadian soil, my heart still wandering the African continent, my dreams unattained and my prayers unanswered. Or so I thought. I haven’t been anywhere in Africa, though it hasn’t been without effort on my part. Many different opportunities have presented themselves over the years and all have been met with either the gentle tugging upon my heart and quiet whisper of “Not yet…” or the decisive slamming of the door in my face when I have tried to push my own agenda. It is something that has both mystified and angered me over the years. Why would God put this so strongly on my heart if there was no way forward? A few years ago, I was once again wrestling with God in prayer about this very question and it left me asking “Why am I here?” And when I say wrestling – if He were physically in front of me in human form it may very well have come to that, I was so angry and confused and feeling genuinely “stuck”. But, despite my frustration, God started to change my perspective.
John chapter four records the account of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well. This has got to be one of my favorite passages of Scripture! I love how it starts in verse four by saying that Jesus “needed to go through Samaria”. That phrase has always stood out to me. Because of the animosity between the Jews and Samaritans of that day, devout Jews would often chose to take a longer route around Samaria when travelling to Galilee from Jerusalem, rather than take the more direct route through it. But Jesus specifically chose to take the road through Samaria, breaking with tradition and cultural norms, and even stopped to speak to a Samaritan, and a woman at that! He then proceeds to meet this woman at her point of need and after she runs back into the city to tell everyone about Him, His disciples try to get to eat something, to which He responds:
“Jesus said, “The food that keeps me going is that I do the will of the One who sent me, finishing the work he started. As you look around right now, wouldn’t you say that in about four months it will be time to harvest? Well, I’m telling you to open your eyes and take a good look at what’s right in front of you. These Samaritan fields are ripe. It’s harvest time!” (John 4:34-35 MSG)
In the middle of the journey to where they thought they were going, Jesus had a mission.
Mission – “the act or the instance of sending”
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mission
Jesus said that His sustenance was to do the will of the Father that sent Him and to finish His work (vs. 34). The disciples simply thought they were stopping for water along the way to where they wanted to be – Galilee. But Jesus stops and tells them to “Look at the fields”: my paraphrase – “Look around! What do you see?” When Jesus said look at the fields it is very likely that they could see fields nearby, but He wasn’t talking about those fields. He was using what was right in front of them to teach a lesson. The disciples may have seen harvest as a long way off – and it was, if you were talking physical harvest of grain fields. Jesus saw something different. He saw harvest now. Because He saw what they couldn’t see. He saw people. He saw people in desperate need of compassion. Hungry for the Word and the Love of God. He saw the overlooked. He saw opportunity to meet needs. Right there in their midst.
In the midst of our seemingly unheard prayers and unattainable dreams, how many times have we missed the answers that were right in front of us because we couldn’t see past our preconceived ideas? How many times have missed the answers because they weren’t what we wanted? How many times do we discount the middle because we are so focused on reaching the end?
Sometimes our middle is filled with waiting. Waiting that is painful. Waiting that grows us and changes us. Waiting that means crying out for hope, for answers, for guidance, for strength to continue through the hard stuff. Sometimes that middle is full of flat tires and broken axles and imprints in the dirt from knees folded in prayer. Where we learn to trust and depend on the One who sees what we cannot. But sometimes the road in between is also filled with little stops along the way that we miss or discount because they don’t fit into our plan and aren’t the final destination we are aiming for. Scenic lookouts. Points of interest. Rest stops. Out-of-the way places rich with wonderful people and opportunities to be a blessing to someone else.
I will be honest. This revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Look around. Here I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t where I thought I should be already – involved in missions – and I missed the fact that mission is simply being sent. In the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19, Jesus said to “Go out into all the world…”, so if we are in the world, whenever we are going we are “on mission” to share the love and life of Christ. So, if I was already sent, how was I fulfilling my mission? Right here, in what I thought was the middle? In short, not well. I was too busy waiting for something that I saw up ahead. Waiting and whining about how God wasn’t doing what I thought He should be. And that is when my eyes were opened and I started to see more of what He sees – that there is a world right here around me waiting to experience Jesus. And I decided it was time to accept my mission.
We all have a God given destiny to fulfill. A purpose for our lives. A mission to accomplish. But it might not be as grandiose as we imagine. It might be as simple and mundane as getting down in the dirt and harvesting alongside the weary farmer. It might be teaching your child to read or pouring into them on their own journey of faith. Or perhaps it’s getting to know your neighbors or taking a meal to a family struggling financially or offering free childcare to the single parent on your street. It might be going to work everyday and being known as the person with an excellent work ethic or the one who brightens the workplace with encouragement. Or being the only one in a long line of disgruntled customers who manages to remain patient and kind to the new cashier at the checkout. Or perhaps it’s putting away your phone and striking up a conversation with someone on the bus or your waitress. And it might be opening your home to children in need of a safe place, loving, feeding and clothing, and putting someone else’s babies to bed because for whatever reason they are unable to.
I used to spell Missions A-B-R-O-A-D. But now, I spell it H-E-R-E. While I do believe that one day I will sink my toes into African soil and I will fully celebrate that moment, until that day comes, I will strive to be faithful right where I am. My mindset has not changed overnight and every once in a while I get caught attending a pity party of my own making, but God is faithfully changing my heart. Since the day I decided to change how I looked at missions, I have had the opportunity to invest deeply in my family and the nurture of my children, minister to people in my community, help with the sponsorship and resettlement of three refugee families, and more recently began the journey into the world of foster care and adoption. And what a world it is! I had no idea of the great need in my own city. Foster care has been the greatest eye-opener by far. It has ripped my hands from my pockets, my heart wide open and my preconceived ideas to shreds, and I wouldn’t trade the moments spent with my little foster babes for anything – even the things I thought I wanted the most. Because now I am beginning to get a glimpse of what Jesus sees and I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Because I don’t have to travel across the globe to live a life of mission.
I no longer hope to be a missionary one day. I have realized that I already am one, because as followers of Christ we are ALL called to missions. Oh, and remember those two things I knew I wanted to do as a missionary? Serve to meet a need and hold babies? Well, guess what? Here I am as a foster mom – meeting a need and holding babies – and I have to laugh. God certainly has His own way of doing things and when we surrender to Him completely, we can find the beauty in the H-E-R-E. Even if it is in the middle of the road to where we thought we were going.
Every single one of us in on a journey. We have the dreams we’d like to live and the goals we’d like to reach. But maybe, we need to stop and look at our now. Look at our HERE. Maybe we need to look at where we are feeling “stuck” and ask to see what Jesus sees. Because maybe we aren’t quite as stuck as we think. “Look to the fields“…you might be surprised by what you see.
“Christ never was in a hurry. There was no rushing forward, no anticipating, no fretting over what might be. Each day’s duties were done as each day brought them, and the rest was left with God.”
~ Mary Slessor – Missionary to Calabar, West Africa
Of Shattered Things 