Cultivating Gratitude

^{“Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.}”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 AMP

This time of year is always a difficult one. A time where the anniversaries of losses are so close together that the grief wave often comes as a tsunami. A time where it can be too easy to get pulled into the undertow of powerful emotions. I used to deny the process. Deny myself the freedom to feel and bury the emotions when they came. But that is what caused me to spiral into depression. Now, I acknowledge that the grief wave does come and allow myself to feel, to process, and then let it roll away again. This is healthy. However, we can end up moving from one extreme to the other. From denial to fixation. And then, instead of keeping our eyes on Christ and trusting Him to help us walk upon the waves of difficulty when they come, we spend all our time staring at the waves – much like Peter did when he stepped out of the boat to come to Jesus on the water (Matthew 14:22-33). I will admit, this is where I found myself headed this year. In my effort to anticipate the emotions that usually come around this time, my eyes left the I AM and I found the grey trying to steal the color from my days.

Within the last few weeks, I was reminded of something that I had forgotten – reminded on more than one occasion, by more than one source. In my experience, when that happens, God is usually trying to tell me something. It’s something that happened a number of years ago, that totally changed my life, but something that I’ve lost sight of in the chaos of the past few years. So, this reminder has come at the perfect time.

It was December 2009. The end of a very hard year. My husband had been in full-time school, I was working to support us and facing a number of challenges at work, plus struggling with some challenging personal relationships. I was grieving – grieving losses, disappointments, lack of purpose, financial stability and the dream of having children when we had hoped. I was in a very dark place. I was so depressed that sometimes it just took all of my effort to get out of bed in the morning. Something needed to change.

As the Christmas season whirled past and the last day of December arrived, in desperation I cried out to God and asked for something. Something to get me through the next year. Something to pull me out of the dark place that I was and give me some hope. Something to give my life purpose. I will never forget the answer that came:

“Find one thing every day to be thankful for and write it down, for one full year. Just one thing. Begin to cultivate gratitude in the next 365 days.”

I have to admit, I was more than a little underwhelmed. Really? I’m asking for God to move in a powerful way – give me some deep revelation or experience that is life transforming – and this is what I get? Be thankful?

“That’s great, but I need something real. Finding one thing to be thankful for isn’t going to do anything. That’s too easy and I honestly need something that is going to help me to face another day.”

“If it’s so easy, then why not just do it?” Ok. Can’t really argue with that.

“Ok, fine. I’ll try it. But I really don’t think finding one thing a day is going to make a difference.”

Lo, and behold, it really was not as easy as I thought. I was so used to looking at life from this place of shadows, that in the beginning it was actually a real challenge. How can you find something to be grateful for when you aren’t even sure you want the sun to come up the next day? And so, I started with the little things. Things that I knew I could appreciate, even on a bad day. Things like hot water. Food. Clothing. Shelter. Things I could write down in point form or one line in my journal. But as I started to make it a daily habit, something started happening. It became easier to find things to be thankful for. My perspective began to change.

Life didn’t look so grey anymore and little by little color crept in. Before too long, I would catch myself looking for things to be thankful for. Little things – like the bubbles in the soapy dish water, a ray of sunshine, central heating, or little green shoots of grass peeking up through the dead brown thatch to announce spring on its way. I found myself giving thanks, not just at the end of each day when it was time to record in my journal, but throughout the day. My journal entries went from a single word or line to sometimes pages of many things that I had found to be grateful for. And before I knew it, a whole year had gone by and I was facing my final journal entry.

Taking some time to reflect, it was amazing to see where this journey of gratitude had led me. Instead of seeing the disappointments and all that I did not have, I was seeing, as if for the first time, life as a collection of gifts. So, so many gifts; most of which I would have missed if I hadn’t been looking for them. That’s when it hit me.

Cultivate gratitude.

Cultivate. An agricultural term meaning “to prepare for the raising of crops; to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants), to foster the growth of” (Merriam-Webster). It isn’t something that magically happens or that God suddenly drops in my lap. It’s a process that involves an act of will. It requires labour and commitment on my part. Just like the ground for a garden doesn’t prepare itself for planting, I have to be obedient and do the hard work. I have to be intentional.

Gratitude. Being thankful – or “conscious of benefit received” (Merriam-Webster). James 1:17 says “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (NIV). Every good gift. That implies that there are many, but how often do we miss them because we are too busy looking at the things that we don’t have, or the things we’ve lost, or the things that should have been?

Have ever noticed that when you receive a gift, it often reflects things about the giver? You know when the giver has taken time to prepare a gift that is meaningful for you. It shows you glimpses of their character, their investment in your relationship and how much they value you. Here James tells that the gifts that come from our Father are good. Why? Because He is Good and He is invested in us! And so, in becoming conscious of the gifts, I discovered the Giver in a greater way.

“The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge all that I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.” ~ Henri Nouwen

The one thing that was asked of me, the one thing that I dismissed as being too easy – too simple – is what was able to change my perspective and my life. I received the answer that I had asked God for, but I would have missed it completely had I not been willing to obey. But isn’t that just like God? Wrapping up the most profound and meaningful things in the simplest of packages? Didn’t we just celebrate Christ’s birth? The coming of the Greatest Gift in the most unadorned and simple package?

“And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me.” ~ Ann Voskamp

How gracious is the Holy Spirit, who so lovingly brings Truth to our remembrance? I’d forgotten the power of gratitude. What cultivating gratitude in your heart can do to make space for God to work in your life. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to be thankful in all circumstances. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us to bring our requests to God with thanksgiving. Why? Because when you become conscious of the gifts and give thanks to the Giver, you put your focus back on the Giver – the place where it should have been all along. He becomes our center and when we put God first, we move over to let Him work.

So, cultivating gratitude means putting in the effort to identify the gifts and give thanks for them – returning our gaze to the Giver and acknowledging Him. It’s the first step. But when gratitude begins to grow, it in turn cultivates our hearts to receive more of the Giver of gifts. It presents good ground for the Word to grow in and positions us to grow deeper in Him.

I think it’s time to take up the challenge again for another year. I choose be thankful in today, whatever comes and let tomorrow rest in God’s hands. Care to join me? #365daysofgratitude

“God gave you a gift of 86, 400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” ~ William Arthur Ward